Men's 1XI v Newbury & Thatcham

One summary of the game…..Newbury is bloody far!

Aylesbury went into their opening league game of the season knowing that ‘Doing a Leicester’ was a real possibility for this side following promotion last season. This was, however, before star striker Greenlee pulled out of the game to go and play with bigger boys in London, one of Aylesbury’s 7 dwarfs Chris Mac decided he would rather go to an all you can eat to try and catch up Paul Gregory and finally Kip was still in the side – basically, there was no hope.

We started the game well. Our three pronged strike force (with a combined height of 5 foot) was causing Newbury all sorts of problems, weaving in and out of the Newbury defenders legs. Gregory was actually having a good game although at times it was like watching Pamela Anderson running on Baywatch – the team are thinking of buying a sports bra for Paul with fines money. Hunter was once again demonstrating his lack of ability and pace in the centre but was still much better than Kip. Linders missed an absolute sitter with that magic hole appearing in his stick again from a short corner. Rumour has it that Ben Linders is in line to replace his brother – Sky Sports will be following the developments.

At half time, the game was scoreless, Gregory was done and was looking for a KFC for his half time snack. Coach Jaypee started talking but no one in the team is fluent in Africans so it was a bit pointless. Captain Steve rambled something but once again, no one is fluent in what he speaks and Aylesbury’s new overseas international, Dickie started speaking but he sounded like he had been on the Special Brew all night. So all in all, half time was a waste of time.

The second half was much the same as the first. The dwarfs were ‘Hi Hoeing’ but could not score. To Newbury’s credit, they sussed out Aylesbury’s weak link (Kipper) and pressured him. This led to Kip giving away a short corner (standard) and almost costing us the game (also standard). Bowes (Head of the Dwarfs), was having a good game at the back along with Ben ‘I love Sam’ Ireson who was throwing himself all over the floor and faking injury to waste time. The final whistle came and the game finished goalless.

All in all, a very enjoyable game with an always competitive but friendly opposition who we look forward to welcoming next year.